My Co-Dependent Relationship with Horses: Looking Back, and Looking Ahead

What a lot of people don’t know about equestrians is that we can struggle with depression, especially during the winter months.

Let’s be honest. To have a career in horses means you have to be a little crazy. We sign up to have our hearts broken. We work incredibly hard to make little to no money (we are happy if we break even) only to have our dreams crushed by the tiniest of errors or just bad luck. As eventers, we train for decades for just 11 minutes of amazing bliss.

Yep. We’re crazy.

There are people who say that we do it for money. Umm…Nope. No money. But for love? Yes.

Sometimes when I step into the start box or a pen with a wild mustang, I ask myself “Why am I doing this?” Then I remember. I can’t live without it.

Horses make my heart smile.

Sometimes it’s easy to focus on the negativity of a year. It’s easy to feel the downs and the struggles. Everyone deals with these feelings a little different.

It’s exciting to strive to make a team, to be on the top, and to be a better horseman. But then there is the feeling of being so far and distant from those goals they can swallow you whole.

When I have these feelings, I try to focus on the positives. And I’ve had some amazing positives this year. Even the hardships can be seen in a positive light. When I face hardships I like to appreciate them as education for the lessons they taught me. As Karen O’Connor loves to remind me,

“Experience is what you get right after you needed it.”

A quote that I found in high school that has always helped me with perspective and positivity is by Corita Kent:

“Life is a succession of moments, to live each one is to succeed.”

For me this is about appreciating all the little things you’ve accomplished because they all play a part in building to the big things!

I’ve had so many amazing moments and I finally feel like I’m getting closer!

What I’m most thankful for are amazing relationships with people that have become like my family. I’m thankful for my horses. And I’m thankful for all of you, who follow my journeys and my horses, it really means so much!

I’m sooo excited for 2020! Happy New Year!